


Seeing You

by DearLazerBunny



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Blind Character, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-24
Updated: 2018-12-24
Packaged: 2019-09-25 22:22:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,208
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17129789
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DearLazerBunny/pseuds/DearLazerBunny
Summary: Written for anon, who requested some blind!Kylo. This is not as long nor as sappy as I wanted it to be, but I figured I kept you waiting long enough anon- so I hope you enjoy! : )





	1. Part 1

Standing in line was never fun, but this place had the best coffee in the world so technically it was worth it. Cheap, not all hipster-y like most places in town- just an honest to god great cup of coffee that always made your day start off well. And today, you definitely needed it. Three meetings at work, a major project due, and emails from your boss were flying into your inbox faster than you could respond to them. Such is the nature of your job, but still. Yikes.

You finally step up to the counter and the line obligingly shifts behind you. The man behind you was a little uncomfortably close, but it’s a small café, so you just tried to ignore it and place your order. “One large coffee, black, two sugars. Please.” The barista nods, probably grateful for such a simple order, and hands you a steaming cup. Precious cargo in hand, you turn to head back to the office-

Only to run into the man behind you, shoulder checking him so hard your drink flies from your hands and onto the worn wooden floor in front of you. “Mother-!”

“Oh god, I am so sorry.” The man angles himself towards you slightly, but doesn’t seem to be looking directly at you. “Did you spill your drink? Here, let me buy you another one-”

In your frustration, your response comes out a bit touchy. “Did I spill my drink? What are you, blind?” You gesture to the spill across the floor, which some poor employee is now frantically mopping up.

“Um.” The guy smiles sheepishly. “Kinda, yeah.”

“Oh- oh my god.” Could this day get any better? “I am so sorry, I didn’t mean-”

“Hey, it’s fine. It’s hard for other people to tell.”

“Jesus, I feel like such an asshole though.”

He laughs, a nice sound. One that booms through the shop and raises your spirits just a little bit. Kind of like your coffee would have. “Making fun of a blind guy? Yeah, you’re going straight to hell, sorry to inform you. I’ve got a direct line.”

Cute and funny, too. Well goddamn. “Did I spill any on you? I’m sure it must hurt like hell?”

“Nah, you’re fine.” He pulls his shirt away from his body where coffee has made the wet fabric stick to his skin. “Been through worse.”

“Worse than scalding coffee?”

“As in, literally been on fire.” He grins, like it’s the funniest thing in the world, which is in contrast to the slightly horrified look on your face. “So, don’t worry about it. No big deal. My friend has an extra shirt on him, anyways.”

Said friend then walks up to the two of you, both of whom have been shoved out of line by impatient patrons and are now talking in a corner. “Kylo? Everything good?”

“Yeah, Arm, just managed to make this incredibly gorgeous woman spill her very expensive coffee, I’m sure.”

The man snorts and turns to you. “Armitage, hi. Want me to get you another cup? What’s your poison?”

Stunned by the compliment, you stammer off your order and the man turns to get back in line, presumably to get all three of you a cup. You turn back to him- Kylo. “Gorgeous? You can’t even see!”

He hums, that little smile still on his face. “It’s a feeling you get. Call it blind guy’s intuition.”

“And this intuition lets you see pretty girls by, what, echolocation?”

Another laugh. You were starting to enjoy making this guy laugh, to be honest. “If that means you’ll take the compliment, then sure, let’s go with that.”

“How would you know I didn’t take it?”

He winks at you, his brown eyes slightly clouded over. “Truly pretty girls never do.”

Jesus, was this guy making you blush, right in the middle of the restaurant? Luckily, his friend returns, three cups in hand, saving you from further embarrassment. “Black, two sugars for the lady. Kylo, you ready to go?”

The man nods and Armitage crooks his arm. Kylo lightly sets his hand on the elbow. “Oh, wait.” He turns back to you. “I didn’t get your name.”

“Y/N. And you’re… Kylo?”

“The one and only.” He grins, and Armitage begins to lead him out of the shop. “See you around, Y/N.” And they’re gone, lost in the throng of people in the tiny café.

You put the back of your hand to one cheek. Yup, definitely blushing. But you left with a little more pep in your step than you probably would have without the strange encounter.

…

You find yourself visiting that coffee shop a little more frequently than normal, after that chance encounter. You also keep telling yourself it’s definitely not because of that guy’s smile, and the way he said you were gorgeous so confidently even you believed it for a second… nope, definitely not because of him.

So it definitely wasn’t because of him sitting at a table in the corner at said café that made your heart rate go up when you caught sight of him.

The good thing about him being blind (did that make you a terrible person, to say that?) was that you could stare at him without fear of locking eyes as you raged an internal battle over whether or not to go talk to him. On the one hand, he probably wouldn’t even remember you- but what if he did? Did you want him to?

“If you want to go talk to him, you should. He doesn’t bite, I promise.”

“What the-” you turn to see a familiar looking redhead in an apron, wiping the table next to you with a rag. “Oh! You’re- you’re his friend-”

“Armitage.” The man smiles a knowing smile and nods his head in Kylo’s direction. “Seriously, I’ve watched you stare at him for the past half hour. Just go talk to him.”

“I- didn’t know if I should-”

“He can be kind of intimidating.” Armitage stops what he’s doing and looks over at his friend, apparently appraising him. “Six foot something, loud voice. And there’s the whole blind thing.”

“Does that make me a bad person?”

The man snorts. “Nope, just means you’re human. But for what it’s worth? He’ll definitely remember you.”

“Why in the world would he remember me?”

“He never forgets a voice. It’s kind of creepy.” Seeing your empty mug, he takes it and heads towards the front counter. “I’ll go refill this. But I’m taking it to his table.” He nods at Kylo, who has his own steaming cup before him. “So, talk to him, or no coffee. Your choice.”

“That’s… that’s just mean,” you stammer petulantly, already gathering up your things.

“Consider it a favor. Now, shoo.” He waves you in the direction of Kylo and walks off.

You take a breath and approach his table, glad he can’t see you. “Um, hi. Kylo? It’s Y/N, from about a week ago…”

The moment you started talking, his head tilted slightly to the side, and when you said your name a big smile blossomed on his face. “Y/N! I thought I heard you in here. Wanna sit?”

“Sure, that’d be great.” You settle into the chair across from him. “You thought you heard me?”

“From across the room. Sorry if that’s weird, I just have a knack for other people’s voices now.”

You shake your head. “You can pick out a stranger’s voice from across a crowded room? That’s mutant-level abilities right there.”

He grins. “Just call me Spider-Man.”

You snort. “Whatever you say, Kylo.”

“Hey, you remembered!”

“How could I not, I decked you with a full mug of coffee!”

“Again, not the worst thing that’s happened to me.” He shrugs good-naturedly. “Don’t worry about it.”

“Right.” You pause for a few seconds. “So, can I ask about the whole fire thing, or…?”

“Whoa now, that’s really more of a second date kinda topic of conversation.”

You laugh, your voice ringing across the room. “Guess you’ll just have to ask me out sometime then, ‘cause now I’m curious.”

“Would you say yes?”

You tilt your head, taking him in. “Would you?”

“In a heartbeat.”

You didn’t want to let on how much of a happy feeling that gave you in your chest. “Why? You don’t even know anything about me.”

“I’ll let you in on a secret.” He leans in conspiratorially, like he’s imparting great wisdom. “I may not be able to see, but I can hear everything in a person’s voice. And you, by far, have the most interesting voice I’ve come across in a long, long time.”

“Is that so.”

“That is so.” The crooked grin returns, and he tucks a piece of his wavy black hair behind his ear. “So… date? Yes?”

You smile. “Yes.”

…

Before the doorbell rings, you take one last look in the mirror, fixing a spot on your sweater. Bonus of dating Kylo- no need for makeup, or even a hairstyle, really. But you liked to throw in some texture in your clothing, just to give his fingers something interesting to play with when he grabs on to the crook of your elbow. When he wasn’t holding your hand, of course. He mentioned one night liking the open-knit weave you were currently wearing, so now you wore it as often as possible around him.

There’s a knock on the door and you giddily go to open it. Kylo is standing in the doorway wearing a soft t-shirt and jeans, perfectly accentuating his body. You can’t help but stare a little bit.

“Well? Can I come in?”

“What? Yeah, yeah, sorry-” you open the door wider and he walks through. He’s been to your apartment enough by now that he doesn’t even need your help to now where everything is- he just plops down on the couch, looking for all the world like he lives there.

“Staring again?”

You stick out your tongue in his general direction as you close the door. “I can’t help it, you’re just too damn stareable.”

“I don’t think that’s a word.”

“It is now. And that’s what you are.”

“C’mere, you-”  he manages to snag your wrist from thin air with minimal fumbling and he pulls you onto the couch with him, covering you with kisses as you shriek with laughter.

“Kylo- stop-!”

“Not a chance,” he says into the side of your neck, and it sends shivers down your spine. Wrapping his arms around you, the two of you settle into a familiar, comfortable position- you against his chest, his arms around you. You like how you can hear the rumble of his voice from here.

“Movie?”

“Sure, pick your poison.”

You put on one of the Spider-Man movies- it had become a running joke between the two of you- and you settle back, the lights dimmed. About halfway through, you start to doze off, only to be woken by the ending credits and Kylo mumbling something you can’t quite make out.

Yawning, you press pause on the remote. “What was that? Sorry, didn’t hear you.”

“Oh, I- nothing.”

“Come oooooon.” You lace your fingers through his and give his hand a gentle tug. “Tell me.”

He sighs, and you can feel the rise and fall of his chest from where you lay. “I said- you’re the first thing I’ve wished I could see in a long time.”

Everything seems to stop for a moment, his words suspended in air like they’re frozen in place. “Kylo-”

“I know, I know, it’s a stupid thought. Ignore me.”

“No, Kylo, that’s- really, really sweet of you. And a little heartbreaking,” you add, emotion coloring your voice.

“Yeah, well. It’s the truth.”

An air of discontent settles around him. “Kylo? Can I ask you something?”

“Shoot.”

“What happened? To you, I mean.”

“Ah, the second date material.”

You giggle, remembering your first burgeoning conversations all those months ago. “We’re a little past our second date now. I figured I could ask.”

“You can, I don’t mind.” You settle against his chest, head in the crook of his neck, tracing soft lines on his t-shirt while he speaks. “I was in a car crash when I was twenty. Threw me from the seat and through the windshield- they had to douse me with a fire extinguisher to put out the flames. I should have been dead, but as it was it just took my eyesight and signed me up for a lot of physical therapy.”

“God, Kylo. I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t be.” He pauses, like he’s weighing his words. “I wasn’t- the best person, back then. Too angry, too reckless. It changed me. The crash made me see things in a new light, I guess.”

“Figuratively speaking.”

That gets a grin out of him. “Exactly.”

“Well, someday when they make bionic eyes, I’ll be the first thing you see, promise.”

His grin is tempered a little. “Y/N? Can I… try something?”

“Depends on the thing, but probably.”

“Just- sit still, for a minute.” You do so, and his hand reaches up towards your face. You stay silent as his fingers brush your cheek almost reverently, then lets his palm cup the side of your face like you’re made of porcelain and he doesn’t want to break you.

Slowly, he begins to trace your features- a thumb brushes your bottom lip,, his pointer finger traces the contours of your nose. Your eyes flutter close as the delicate pad of his finger gently outlines your lashes. His eyes are closed, but his hands are shaking softly, and you get the feeling this is the first time he’s really seeing you in- well. Ever.

Eventually, he sits forward and places a delicate kiss to your forehead. “Thank you,” he whispers, lips still against your skin, and you can feel the smile- and the hope- in his voice. 

 


	2. Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part two of Seeing You by popular demand! Special thanks to the anon who gave me a jumping off point. Hope you enjoy!

You wake to a tossing and turning Kylo, practically shaking the entire bed. It happens sometimes, the nightmares. Usually about the crash. Sitting up in bed, you patiently wait for him to calm down so you can wake him, as has been your job since the two of you moved in together. You hated the idea of him suffering through it alone. Luckily, now he didn’t have to.

“Kylo. Kylo!” You shake his shoulder gently when there’s a break in the flailing. “Wake up!” His brow furrows, and you can see the sweat rolling off his forehead. “Kylo, it’s okay. You’re safe, Kylo.” He seems to calm for a minute. But then, out of nowhere, he reaches out and claws for something in the air, like he’s desperately trying to get away from something. Except, he doesn’t claw the air, exactly. Instead he catches your left cheek with his nails, raking them down the plane of your face so hard you can immediately feel the sting.

“ _Mother_ -!” You curse and bring a hand up to your face, touching the now tender skin. There’s some blood, you can tell.

“Y/N?” Kylo calls out weakly from the other side of the bed, and your wound is instantly forgotten. “Where are you?”

“Right here, sweetheart.” You run the non-bloodied hand lightly up his arm until you get to his shoulder and give it a little squeeze. “I’m right here.”

“Jesus, I’m sorry.” He’s always so self deprecating when things like this happen. You wish he wouldn’t be. “I just-”

“Hey, hush. It’s okay. I know the nightmares get bad sometimes.”

He grimaces. “Yeah.” Then he pats the open area of the bed next to his side. “Come here? I want to hold you.”

Now that the crisis is over, you’re beginning to feel the sting on your cheek more and more until it’s practically making your eyes water. “Um, yeah, just gimme a sec. Gonna run to the bathroom.”

He nods and you dart off like there’s a chance of him seeing the accident. In the harsh glare of the bathroom lighting, three angry red streaks jag their way down your face, bleeding slightly. “Jesus-” you whisper into the mirror, trying to blot the blood away with a tissue.

“Y/N? Everything okay?”

Goddamn super hearing. “I’m fine, babe!” Scrambling under the sink, you pull out a first aid kit and hastily apply bandages to the wounds, wincing where the sticky parts come in contact with the cuts. It takes quite a few, but eventually you’re bandaged up.

Now for the hard part- how to make sure Kylo doesn’t feel the mass of bandages now covering your face.

Luckily, with him on the right side of the bed, your right cheek will be facedown on his shirt so his fingertips won’t accidentally wander into the war zone. As you settle down onto his chest, you have to wince a bit as you put pressure on the cuts. It wasn’t pleasant- so much so that your eyes begin to tear up as soon as you lay down. You really hope you aren’t getting blood on his shirt. That’d be hard to explain.

But Kylo needs this right now, so you remain lying by his side nonetheless. His hand is stroking up and down your back, lulling you into a hazy sort of sleepiness. “I’m really sorry,” he whispers, almost like he knows what he’s done, and you shake your head slightly so you don’t upset the bandages.

“Not your fault. It’s all good, Kylo.”

That seems to satisfy him because in a few more minutes he’s drifted off back to sleep. You lay there quietly, hoping to do the same, but the pain is kind of killing you. You should have taken a Tylenol before going back to bed.

In any case, you were sure it would be healed up by morning. No big deal. So you wait for sleep to claim you, listening to the steady heartbeat thumping through Kylo’s broad chest.

…

It wasn’t healed up.

The bandages had soaked up so much blood you had to remove them, only to reveal raw open cuts that looked a hell of a lot worse than it did last night. Shit. Still hiding in the bathroom, you quickly email your boss telling her you were taking a sick day, then pull on some sweats and get your things to head to an urgent treatment center. This was turning out to be beyond your abilities.

“Are you leaving?” Kylo is fixing a mug of coffee in the kitchen, undoubtably tired from the interruption of sleep the night before. He grins at you lopsidedly. “Where’s my kiss, huh?”

You roll your eyes, but you’re smiling as you do, wandering over to him and brushing your arm slightly with his so he knows you’re there. He goes in to kiss your cheek and after a moment of panic, awkwardly turn your face to the other side so he doesn’t catch the side roughly bandaged up. You don’t think he noticed though. Giving him a kiss on the lips, you book it out of there before he grazes your cheek and pulls off a bloodied bandaid.

The urgent care center is loud and crowded, and you sit quietly in the corner until they call your name, praying your cheek isn’t as serious as it looks.

“Y/N Y/L/N?” You stand and follow the nurse back to a room and they take your vitals. “You’ve got quite the scratch there; that why you’re here?” You nod. “Okay, I’m going to take the bandages off so I can take a look.”

She grimaces as she does so, taking in the injury. “How did this happen, honey?”

Oh, shit. You hadn’t thought of that. You couldn’t very well tell her your boyfriend did it. “We, um, we got a new cat, and things didn’t go so well.” You chuckle awkwardly, hoping it’s a decent enough cover story to blow over the question. Apparently it is, because the nurse nods in sympathy and goes to find the appropriate supplies.

The antiseptic hurts like a bitch, stinging so bad your shoulders are up to your ears. She then gauzes the wound thoroughly and tapes it all together. It feels weird, like a second layer of skin overlapping the first. “There, you should be all set. Change the dressing once a day until it heals, okay? Thank your lucky stars you don’t need stitches.”

You do so. That would have been really hard to explain.

“Hey, you’re home early.” Oh, damn, you hadn’t even thought of an excuse as to why you weren’t at work today.

“Thought I’d work from home today. I miss you.” Which isn’t truly a lie. And the smile that brightens his face makes it totally worth it.

So the two of you get cozy on the couch, laptops in hand, typing away. You can’t help but glance up at Kylo from time to time, with his hair falling in his face and his eyes steady in concentration. Fucking gorgeous. How’d you get this lucky?

When it’s time for bed, you check the dressing on your face carefully to see if it needs to be changed. It doesn’t, so the two of you cuddle up and sleep, with him hugging you from behind, his arm wrapped around you.

It’s the middle of the night when Kylo shakes your shoulder. “Y/N? Y/N wake up.”

“Hm?” You’re groggy as you do so, blinking through the darkness at Kylo’s very concerned face. “What’s up, babe?”

“Um… what is this?” Gently, he reaches out and barely grazes the was of gauze covering your cheek. Shit.

“They’re um, bandages. What were you doing, anyways?”

He grins sheepishly. “I couldn’t sleep, so I was-” he gestures tracing his hand over your face like he’s done so many times before. “What happened? Did you get hurt?”

“Yeah, but it’s really no big deal-”  
  


“Y/N. What happened?”

You sigh. Time to come clean. “Last night, when you were having the nightmare- before I woke you up, you kinda caught my face with your nails. I’m really okay though, a nurse checked it out and I don’t need stitches or anything-”

“Stitches?” The look on his face is horrified. “How badly did I hurt you?”

“Um. The gashes were pretty deep. But I’m fine, I swear!”

“Y/N. I- I  _hurt_  you. I-”

“No, Kylo, it’s not like you did it on purpose. You were asleep, you reached out, and my face just happened to be in the way,” you joke, trying to make light of the situation. “I’m fine. Really.”

The somber look on his face sends warning bells off in your head. “How am I supposed to sleep with you ever again knowing I could hurt you this badly? Or worse?”

“Kylo-”

“I’m going to sleep on the couch.” He gets up, blanket pulled off of the bed, and retreats to the living room. You can practically see the dark cloud traveling over him as he goes.

You give him a few hours to brood before padding out to the living room, blanket wrapped around your shoulders. Carefully, you sit on the edge of the couch where his feet lay. His eyes are wide open, staring at nothing. “Hey.”

“I’m not coming back to bed.”

“Kylo. You’re overthinking this. It was an  _accident_. It could have happened to anyone!”

“Yeah, but I can’t even-” he breaks off, then sits up, shoving the blanket off of him and reaching out for you. You catch his hand so he can sense where you are and sit quietly as his fingers once again wander up to the gaze on your face. “I can’t even see what I did to you,” he whispers. “What if I hurt you even worse? What if I can’t get help? What if-” You can see the tears begin to leak from his eyes, and he shuts them, roughly wiping away the water with the heel of his hand. “I can’t stand knowing I could do that to you.”

“Kylo. Look.” With fumbling fingers, you pick at the edges of the tape sealing down the gauze. “Here’s what happened.” You take his fingers and put them up to the wound, uncovered, letting him feel the cuts. The pads of his fingers sting a bit from the salt of his tears, but you grimace though it. He needs this. “This is, yes, what you  _accidentally_  did to me. But babe?” You sigh, a huff of air, trying to figure out how to word this. “You could do  _so much worse_  to me. You have me so completely, you don’t even know. If you broke up with me tomorrow, I- I don’t know what I would do. Hell, even when we fight, it hurts a whole fucking lot worse than this. So I can handle a few scratches. I can stand a little blood.” You reach out and push a lock of hair behind his ear, and he leans into the touch. “Being with you is worth it.”

“I’m scared,” he whispers, and your heart tugs itself out of your chest along with his words.

“I’m scared every day I wake up next to you. Scared you’ll finally come to your senses and leave me for something better. Something you deserve. But does that stop me from being with you?”

A pause. Then, he shakes his head, just a tiny amount. “God, I hope not.”

You smile. “You bet your ass it doesn’t.”

“For the record, I would never leave you.”

Tapping him on the shoulder before you wrap your arm around him, you pull him to your chest so that the two of you are curled in on each other, taking comfort in each other’s warmth. “I know. But it’s a side effect of being with someone so wonderful.”

He hums, and you can feel the vibrations from it running through you. You kiss the top of his head. “So don’t worry. We’ll both be a little scared, together. Okay?”

“…okay.”


	3. Part 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Requested by anon, who wanted some jealous reader. Enjoy!

The café is beautiful, with the most romantic atmosphere you’ve ever seen. Candles and candelabras are lit, sparking off the walls, soft violins are playing, and a dress code enforces black tie attire only, ensuring everyone is dressed to the nines. You and Kylo are no exception- you’re in a floor-length black gown that skims your curves just enough to be suggestive, and Kylo looks incredibly handsome in his sport jacket. He insisted on it being a surprise, so he had Hux come over and help him pick it out, making you smile and a bit giddy when you saw him. He was the same when he first ‘saw’ you, running his hands over the material of the dress in obvious admiration. “Wow,” he whispered, and that suddenly had made the self-consciousness fly away like a bird.

He’d insisted on keeping the location of the restaurant a secret as well, so the two of you took a taxi, the location of the establishment whispered into the cabbie’s ear as so not to let you hear. As you rode through the city together, your hands were locked together tightly, and you described some of the beautiful skyline you could see out the window.

When you finally got there, you were shocked. Au Bon Pain is the premier restaurant in the city. How he got reservations, you didn’t know, but you weren’t going to ruin the night by arguing. This was going to be a good night.

As the waiter brings a bottle of champagne and wine to the table to start the two of you off, you smile, amused. “Champagne? Are we celebrating something?”

“Hell yeah, the fact that you’re drop dead gorgeous and still all mine. It’s a miracle that deserves to be celebrated.”

“Once again, you assert this fact without being able to see jack squat,” you tease.

He winks. “Armitage tells me it’s true.”

You both laugh and the waiter pops the cork, sending bubbles flying. Once the drinks are poured and he leaves to attend other customers, you briefly describe where everything is on Kylo’s side of the table so he can access it. Listening in concentration, he picks up the flute of champagne as easily as if he was born to do it, and holds it aloft. “To us.”

“To us.” You smile and clink with him. How had you gotten so lucky?

Then the waitress glides up in a well-fitting uniform, hair cascading down her back, and you’re immediately on edge. This girl is gorgeous. Like, drop dead gorgeous. Prom queen, supermodel, sugar daddy gorgeous. And as silly as it is, you can’t help but be a little bit jealous.

It’s even worse when she opens her mouth. “Good evening, my name is Laila, and I’ll be your server this evening.” Kylo simply nods politely, but you can’t help but notice how musical her voice is, cutting right through the din of the restaurant with its sweet quality. Whatever- you aren’t going to let it ruin your night. She’s just a waiter.

Right?

“What can I start you all off with this evening?” She smiles at the two of you, her lipstick perfectly in place. “I see we already have the drinks. Are we celebrating something special?”

“Just us,” Kylo responses, smiling up at her like he can see her, even though you know he’s just following the sound of her voice.

“Fantastic. Are we ready to order?”

You shake your head. “We still need to look over the menu. Kylo, want me to help you?” Usually when you go to restaurants, you read off the menu and help him decide what to pick. But today he inclines his head towards the waitress.

“I don’t know, what would you recommend?”

She gives him an overly-sweet smile that you don’t like one bit and leans down over his shoulder to appraise the menu, giving you- and him- and excellent view of her boobs. Let’s just say they were a bit more ample than yours. Well, you can’t go wrong with the steak, and the pasta primavera is to die for. But my personal favorite is the shrimp scampi.”

“Hm.” He over-exaggeratedly pretends to think, a hand on his chin.”I guess I’ll have the shrimp scampi then.”

She laughs flirtatiously and takes his menu from his hands, actually brushing his fingers with her long, painted nails as she does so. “An excellent choice.” As she turns to you, her voice goes noticeably flatter, and her tone more annoyed. “And for you?”

You’ve been sitting there on the other side of the table gritting your teeth throughout this entire interaction, but now you put on a fake smile. “Yeah, I’ll have the steak? Medium, please.”

She doesn’t even bother writing it down on her notepad as she flounces away, making sure what looks like to stay in Kylo’s line of sight the entire way back to the kitchen. Wonderful. This is not exactly what you wanted to deal with today. You take a deep breath and settle back in your chair, trying not to hyperventilate. This girl isn’t going to ruin your night.

Kylo seems to notice your sudden radio silence. “What’s up over there? You seem pretty quiet.”

“Oh, nothing,” you lie. “Just hungry.”

“Uh oh, they better bring the food out soon. I know how hangry you get.”

You break off a piece of bread roll and lob it at him, hitting him square in the cheek. Probably undignified for a restaurant such as this, but it’s worth it to see the smile light up his face. “Not fair! I’d probably hit some poor waiter in the back of the head!”

You snort and mutter softly, “I wish you would.”

“What was that?”

“Nothing!”

The dinner comes out delicious, but the dinner isn’t the problem- Laila has now removed her sweater, showing off her chest even more, which you didn’t think was possible. There’s also two more casual hand touchings, both to the shoulder- not that you’re counting. Kylo keeps on smiling and answering questions, bantering back and forth with her, and eventually you can’t take it anymore- “I’m going outside for a bit.“

Kylo turns his attention away from Laila and focuses on you. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah, just, uh-” you hold up your phone, which isn’t buzzing, but he can’t see that. “Phone call. Back in a sec.”

Racing out the back of the restaurant, you lean against the brick wall, looking up at the night sky. Was she really flirting with Kylo? Was he flirting with her? While you were right there? The thought makes you sick to your stomach and you put a hand over your dress. You said this wasn’t going to ruin your evening, but you could now consider it thoroughly a bust. A shame, too, the steak really was good.

“Y/N? You out here?” Kylo holds on to the edge of the door as he emerges into the alley. “Someone said you ran back here.”

“Uh, yeah- okay, bye, mom!” You quickly fake being on the phone. “Hey. Sorry, just a family thing.”

“I didn’t hear your phone buzz.”

“Um-”

“Is something going on, Y/N? You haven’t been yourself all night.”

“Nothing is wrong, I’m fine.”

“Are you sure? Because if tonight isn’t what you wanted-”

“No, no! Kylo, this is the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me.” You sigh, taking his hand and guiding him to you until you’re standing next to each other. “The truth is, I might be a bit… jealous…” you wince at the words, hearing how they come out of your mouth.

“Jealous? Of what?”

You stare at him. “Um, miss flirty waitress in there, who has put her hand on your shoulder no less than three times? And keeps touching your hand? And bending down so you can see her boobs?”

He snorts a little. “You… you know I can’t actually see that, right?”

“I know!” You explode a little, turning away from him. “But it’s the principle of the thing. I don’t like sitting there and watching my boyfriend getting flirted with all night! Especially when he’s reciprocating!”

“I’m what? I was just being friendly-”

“Well, it was too friendly.” Unexpectedly, you wipe a tear that has fallen onto your cheek. “And it sucks.”

“Y/N-” He reaches out until a hand settles on your shoulder, then pulls you in, him hugging you from behind and resting his chin on your shoulder. “I’m really sorry. I didn’t know this was how you felt.”

“Yeah, well.” Another tear. You’re glad he can’t see them. “It’s just me being stupid, don’t worry about it.”

“You’re not stupid, and I always worry about it.” He glances around, noting the noises of the city alive around you. “Well, I guess this is as good a place as any.”

“As good a place? For what?”

“I was going to do this at the end of the night by the bridge, but considering the circumstances, you might want this now.” He rummages around in his coat pocket, pulling out a small something- you can’t see in the dark.

And then, he gets down on one knee.

The box is a small velvet clamshell, with the most gorgeous ring you’ve ever seen nestled inside. It sparkles brighter than the stars above you, and you gasp softly, not able to take it in. Then, it hits you.

“Oh my god,” you whisper softly. “Are you- is this…?”

“Y/N, you are the light of my life. I thank god every day you ran into me in that coffee shop, even if I did have scald wounds from it for a week.” He smiles crookedly. “You are my everything. I love going to sleep next to you at night, and waking up next to you in the morning. I love the silly fights we have, the kisses we share, and the fact that for the first time in a long time, you’re the first person I can actually see, really and truly.” He takes a deep breath. “And I want all those things, and more, forever. If you’ll take this, I’d be the happiest man alive. Y/N, will you marry me?”

You’re absolutely speechless, and everything around you- the walls, the noise- falls away. In this moment, it is jut you and Kylo spinning through space, with one question looming in the air that will change your life forever.

But really, it isn’t much of a question, now is it?

“Of course I will, you idiot,” you say thickly, the tears coming down hard now.

He grins and stands, holding his hand out for your hand. When you give it to him, he slides the ring on like he’s practiced it a hundred times. You pull it back and admire the cut and the gemstone- a black diamond set right in the center, with a halo of miniature white ones encircling it. “Kylo, it’s beautiful.”

“It was my mother’s.” He looks at you hopefully. “You really like it?”

Instead of responding, you pull him into a kiss, right there in the alley. The two of you stand there for a long time, just drinking each other in, heady with this new milestone and the promises it will bring.

“So, don’t worry about the waitress,” he whispers, with his forehead against yours. “I only have eyes for you.”

You giggle. “You don’t have eyes at all, Kylo.”

“Eh, technicalities.”


	4. Part 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> By request of Anne with an e here on Ao3, our cute couple now has a baby! I may write a part five with more cute baby stories, so stay tuned :)

Something hasn’t been right for weeks, but as far as what might be wrong, you can’t quite put your finger on it. You just feel… off. Different somehow. The feeling follows you everywhere you go, and settles around you like a cloud when you lay down to sleep at night. You consider going to the doctor, but eventually rule that it’s probably just some lingering cold, and dismiss it. It’ll get better in a few days.

So you gather your things and head to the coffee shop, the very one that started it all with you and Kylo. As you walk in, the familiar atmosphere makes you smile. There’s still a slight stain on the floor from where you spilled your coffee, setting all the events in motion. “Hey, Armitage.” You wave at him behind the counter, and he smiles back.

“I’m on break in ten minutes; that cool?”

You nod and settle down into one of your favorite armchairs to wait for him. Over the course of yours and Kylo’s relationship, you and Armitage have grown pretty close. Him being Kylo’s best friend, you wanted to be friends as well, but you never expected the bond you’d share right off the bat just from loving the same person in different ways. It blossomed into a great friendship, one that you’re thankful you have. You twist your engagement ring around your finger in thought. You know Kylo is obviously planning on asking him to be his best man, but hasn’t figured out how to do it yet. You can’t wait to see the look on Armitage’s face when he asks.

“Hey, sorry about that.” The man in question slides into the opposite chair, carrying two cups of coffee. You smile. He always remembers your order.

“No worries, I know you’re busy.” You take the mug from him gratefully, and take a sip, but the second you do it twists your stomach into a tiny knot. You abruptly put the cup down, confused. Sure, you haven’t been feeling well, but the nausea is new. Maybe it’s getting worse.

“So how have you been?” He sits forward and leans in like he’s ready for all the juicy gossip, which makes you laugh despite the strange feeling in your stomach.

“Oh, you know, been busy loving your best friend, planning our wedding. The usual stuff.”

“Exactly how I want it,” he teases back. “Wedding planning, that’s exciting.”

You nod. “Exciting, but definitely stressful.” You put a hand to your stomach as it gives another roll, concerned.

Armitage picks up on it. “Y/N? You okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, fine. I’ve just been feeling a little off. Probably just something that’s going around.”

“Hm.” He makes a concerned noise and picks up his mug again, taking a sip. “Well, if you’ve ruled out the pregnancy thing, I have a friend who’s a doctor that can probably take a look at you-”

“Wait, wait.” You stop him. “Ruled out the what?”

“Uh, pregnancy? You know, a baby?” He looks at you for a moment. “You have done a pregnancy test, right?”

A wave of… something washes over you. Too many emotions to categorize. “No. I haven’t.”

His eyes grow a bit wide, but then he visibly forces himself to relax, and his next words come out way too casual. “Well, I’m sure it’s nothing.”

You snort. “You suck at lying, Armitage.”

He grins. “Yeah. But seriously, you might want to check. I mean, just in case.”

You nod. “We’re so not ready for any sort of baby. That would be… yikes.”

Armitage seems to agree. “Kylo doesn’t really want kids anyways, so. There’s that.”

Frowning, your eyebrows draw together. “He doesn’t? I don’t think he’s ever told me that.”

“Yeah, he had a bit of a rough childhood. His mom was great, his dad… not so much. I think the bastard kind of put fatherhood out of Kylo’s head for good.”

Huh. “Well, I’ll stop by the drugstore on the way home, and then when it’s negative we’ll pop a bottle of champagne or something while calling that doctor friend.”

That makes Armitage laugh, and he raises his mug in a toast, which you clink. “Deal.”

…

It’s not negative.

Your back is pressed up against the bathroom door, your face wide in horror as you stare at the little blue lines of the pregnancy test. Oh, god. Oh, no. Not this. Anything but this.

Your phone is sitting on the counter, and you unlock it and type out a short message to Armitage with shaky fingers: SOS

Your phone rings not two minutes later, and you almost drop it trying to hold the phone to your ear. “Y/N? What’s wrong? Are you okay?”

“It’s positive,” you whisper. “Armitage, it’s positive.”

There’s a long pause, so long you think the call has dropped. “You’re pregnant.”

You nod, even though he can’t see you, and slide down to the floor, knees pulled up to your chest. “What am I going to do?”  
“Well, first you have to tell Kylo.” He says it so matter-of-factly you flinch.

“Tell him? No! You literally just told me he doesn’t want kids!” You hiss. “I- I don’t even know if _I_ want kids! I don’t-”you cut yourself off, feeling like you can’t get enough air. A tear slides down your cheek. This is a disaster. An absolute disaster.

“Y/N, calm down. It’s okay. Just breathe.” He pauses, giving you time to take a few deep breaths, before speaking again. “Whether you want the baby or not, you’re going to have to tell him. I mean, he deserves to know, right? This is what you signed up for when you said yes to him. Going through life together, whatever that may bring.”

His voice is soothing but firm, and the more he speaks the more you know he’s right. “Yeah. Yeah, you’re right. I just… how do I even tell him?”

There’s a huff over the phone. “That, I have no idea. Just… sit him down and lay it out, plain and simple. See what he says.”

“Okay.” You let out a breath. “Okay, yeah.” As if on cue, you hear the front door unlocking. Kylo getting home from work. “I’ve got to go, Arm. Thank you.”

“Anytime. Let me know how it goes.”

…

Later that night, the two of you are on the couch, movie playing in the background. Neither of you are really watching- Kylo is playing with your hair, and you’re staring off into space, the news you have to announce settled in the pit of your stomach like a boulder. Or a bomb ready to explode.

Finally, Kylo reaches out and pauses the movie. “Y/N? You okay? You’ve barely said two words today. And I now you’re not asleep,” he teases.

That makes you smile a little. “Yeah, I’m okay. Well, kind of.” You sit up, crossing your legs underneath you. “Kylo, there’s something I have to tell you.”

He frowns, obviously hearing the solemn note in your voice. “Okay. Shoot.”

You take a breath. “Remember how I told you I wasn’t feeling well?”

“Of course. Did you end up seeing a doctor? Is it something serious?”

A wave of anxiety washes over you, the panic starting to rise. What if you tell him and he get’s angry? What if he’s mad at you? A tear drips down your cheek from the sheer anxiousness. This is probably the hardest thing you’ve ever had to do. “Not exactly. I’m- I’m pregnant, Kylo.” Nothing. Not even a reaction in his face. He’s still as stone, and even quieter than that. “I know you don’t want kids, and I’m- I’m so, so sorry, Kylo. I know neither of us need this right now. We can talk about what you want to do, and whatever you want to do I’m completely open to it-”

“Y/N, hush.” A simple command, and you do so, swallowing the words yet to come out of your mouth. Kylo has an incredibly thoughtful look on his face, head tilted slightly to one side. He seems to be looking right at you, even though you know that’s impossible. “You’re pregnant.”

You nod. “Yeah. I am.”

Slowly, like the sunrise, a smile blooms across his fave so bright you could power the whole city with it. “We’re going to have a baby.”

“Are we?” You say hesitantly.

“What do you mean, are we? Of course we are! Unless-” he stops himself. “…unless you don’t want it? Do you not want one?”

“I thought you didn’t want one, Kylo!” You don’t have the words to describe what you’re feeling right now. “Armitage told me you don’t want kids!”

He reaches out for your hand and you give it to him, his fingers lacing through yours as tight as they can possibly be. “I didn’t,” he says softly. “But then I met you. And when I met you… everything changed, Y/N, and I mean everything.”

“So… you want to keep it.” Your voice is trembling. “You want to have a baby.”

“God, yes.” He’s still smiling, and he pulls you to him, close enough that he can put a hand on your cheek, comforting you. “I want everything with you, Y/N. Everything we can possibly have.”

In a heartbeat, the anxiety dissolves, leaving your chest full of something light and happy. Something like hope. You lean forward and kiss him with love in your heart, and he returns it, though you can still feel the smile on his lips as he does so. “Okay,” you whisper, and just like that, your world tilts on its axis yet again.

…

Early in the morning, when the air seems purple in the dark, a cry suddenly splits through the air. You groan and roll over, rubbing your eyes, then throw on a robe an pad over to the baby’s crib. Leia is the tiniest thing you’ve ever seen, small and fussing, throwing her pacifier around like she hates it. But you pick her up nonetheless, holding her close. You never thought you could love something this much, but here you are holding that something in your arms. She doesn’t stop fussing though, despite you rocking her, so you go over and wake Kylo, who has somehow developed the superhuman ability to sleep through the night, baby and all.

“Kylo? I think she wants you, she won’t stop crying.”

He sits up, immediately wide awake, and holds out his arms. The instant she’s settled against his chest, she quiets, looking for all the world content and happy. Kylo smiles, rocking her gently, then presses a soft kiss to her tiny forehead.

“She’s such a daddy’s girl,” you say, and that makes him smile even more. It really is true. She’s got his dark hair and eyes, and she never seems to be quite happy unless she’s cuddled up next to him.

You crawl back into bed, tucking your head onto his shoulder and smoothing down baby Leia’s hair as she sleeps. Kylo presses a kiss to your head too, but you catch him in a real kiss that’s fueled with love and a proud fire of seeing him with your child.

“I love you,” he whispers against your lips, and you kiss him one more time before returning the sentiment. These are the moments you now live for- quiet, peaceful snapshots of time in the dead of night, the three of you curled up together in one bed like you’re three hearts of the same being. It’s not a place you ever thought you’d end up, next to this wonderful man holding the light of your life, but you wouldn’t ever change it for all the world. 


End file.
